INTERRUPTING THE DIVINE

Forty days and forty nights. I screamed at the sky for forty days and forty nights.

I found myself constantly trying to stand in the same place as God, wanting to lock away my emotions for all of my immortality.

My perennial distrust for letting my heart run rampant and free...

Is it bad to wish that I could become an impenetrable carcass?

Desensitizing the overflow of meaningless sentiments, gutting out whatever fragmented humanity is left until I am nothing but an unoccupied exoskeleton.

Sipping on water that I wish could turn into sweet wine only to be rewarded with the taste of blood on my lips.

Cutting out my heart only to still find myself stumbling to my knees.

Praying for the love cannot have because I never repented for the sins I committed.

Oh God, hallowed be thy name, have mercy on the idolization of me.